Each month before writing this column, I reflect on interesting conversations I’ve had or news and stories I’ve heard. This month, however, I’m a bit more reflective than most. I think “there’s a story in there somewhere” though, so here’s the path that my thoughts have traveled.
Reflecting on Heartfelt Times
I find myself at a unique intersection. August represents one year since my father’s death from heart failure. On my birthday in September, I will turn the age of my mother upon her death 24 years ago from a heart attack. I’d like to tell a story that sums up some important knowledge that they shared – a wise tidbit that guides me. But I don’t have one. There is no catch phrase to represent what I learned from my parents. But in searching for one, I have realized the message of my life – it’s all about heart.
Heartfelt Commitment and Dedication
From my parents, I learned to give 110% regardless of what you receive in return. In fact, you should never expect anyone to thank you, congratulate you, or possibly even notice you, but that is no reason not to go above and beyond whatever is needed in any situation. They did not “say” those words to me, they showed me in every action they took.
Sadly, that dedication meant that they always sacrificed their own health, because it was always less important than the tasks and people in front of them. Putting others first has a very dark side, which is the lesson I learned from my mother’s sudden death.
Heartwarming Memories
Ironically, it was after my father’s first heart attack, way back in the early 1980s, that we actually started to “see” him more often. As a child, I rarely saw him at home because he was always working. He was building a career and providing for his family, so there were very good reasons. What strikes me most about life in the 1980s and beyond though is how we (almost) always ate dinner together. Sure, he’d still work a few more hours from home after dinner, but if possible we all had dinner together and shared stories about our day. Sitting, talking, and eating – those are your rewards for a hard day’s work.
Doing What’s in Your Heart
I’ve said it before, I know I’m not perfect. But I like to commit wholeheartedly to what I do and try to help people if I can. So these are the things I know are true:
- You always try to do what is right.
- You won’t always know what’s right, so you will make mistakes.
- You have to trust what you believe in your heart and do your best.