We’ve all watched someone be dismissive of another person’s actions when they chalk them up to habit or reflex. In fact, there’s even a series of TV commercials that encourage people to not become like their parents. But, sometimes, it’s important to remember that actions and habits have developed for a reason.
When It’s About Experiences, Not Age
In particular, one of the actions ridiculed in the commercial is a man cleaning his garbage cans. Well, I have two main comments to that. First, nobody actually wants to have to drag dirty and gross trash cans back and forth from the garage to the street, so it behooves us to keep them clean (although polishing them is excessive). Second, for anyone who has ever been at the receiving end of a trash-collector mix-up, it’s important to have a way to say “that’s my bin, and I’m not keeping your disgusting one!” Yes, that has happened to me, but fortunately I was able to return the bin that had rotten grass clippings in it, and now I make sure I have an undeniable way to identify my bins (although I have stopped short of putting my name on them). In this situation, a very specific experience led to my future actions. It’s not because I’ve gotten older, it’s because I don’t want to have to clean up someone else’s trash, literally.
When It’s About Positivity, Not Age
Another thing that happens in these commercials is reminding people that there’s a reason it’s called, “it’s like being in an elevator.” Oh, I agree, more often than not, we all face forward and wait quietly until the doors open on our floor. But lately, I’ve noticed something. When my sister and I go to her chemotherapy treatments, we’ll often exchange pleasantries with folks who are riding in the elevator with us. It’s a very short ride (the facility only has two floors), and at least half the time we’re alone in the elevator. But when we’re not, we’ll often trade comments on the weather, or what a pretty scarf someone is wearing, and so on. Rather than that being age-related, I think it is a “Midwest” attitude of trying to be friendly. It definitely would be considered odd behavior where I lived in New York, but I can see it happening where I lived in Wisconsin, and that attitude has served us well down here in Oklahoma too.
Thinking About the “Why”
So, the next time you find yourself ready to dismiss someone’s actions as being attributable to their age or general oddness, stop to consider what their true motivations may be. You might learn something about yourself in that process.