I was taught early on in my career something referred to as the “Four Nevers of Customer Service”:
- Never Argue with The Customer.
- Never Make a Big Deal Out of a Complaint.
- Never Put The Customer on the Defense.
- Never Make Excuses.
I was also taught something called “The Golden Rules of Customer Service”:
Rule #1: The customer is always right.
Rule #2: If by chance the customer is wrong, refer to rule #1.
The “Four Nevers of Customer Service” immediately made sense to me. The “Golden Rule” not so much. So, I asked for further explanation and it made a tremendous impact that lasts to this day. The point of the “Golden Rule” is to promote an inclination toward empathy. Or, maybe more simply put, understanding. It is not to be taken literally that customers can’t be misinformed, ill advised, dishonest, and so on. It’s to ensure that our first response to interactions with a customer is to understand where they’re coming from. Whether they are heaping praises upon us or tossing hot coals of discontent, our priority should be to understand. The customer is always right about their experience. Understanding how our business decisions affect their experience will give insight toward changes that ought to be considered in order to promote a more positive experience in the future.
A deeper dive into the “Four Nevers”
Never Argue with The Customer
How many times have you been in a scenario where the customer is just plain mad. It may not even be your fault, but you’re the one caught in the line of fire. As tempting as it can be to fire back, you’re likely only going to build a bigger fire, fanning those flames of distress. Instead, keep a cool head, listen, empathize, and determine best next steps. Best case, you find a workable solution that is equally beneficial for both parties. Worst case, the best next step is to part ways. Even in that worst case scenario, the customer should be left with a sense that you operate your business with sound judgement and integrity.
Never Make a Big Deal Out of a Complaint
Whether you are talking with a colleague or to yourself (or even worse, the customer), never make a big deal out of a complaint. It’s so easy in business to take disagreements or complaints as a personal attack and feel a sense of embarrassment, frustration, guilt, etc. After all, you work hard at what you do and take pride in that, as you should. However, we must be careful to not let the pride of our work supersede our commitment to resolution. When self-pride is the dominating characteristic of our work ethic, a natural response to complaints can be to express openly those feelings noted earlier and further exasperate an already difficult situation. Remember, it’s not about you. It’s about the customer.
Never Put The Customer on the Defense
If you’ve ever played competitive sports, then you’re familiar with the experience of pushing back against your opponent, making them defensive. For me, my sport is grappling (Judo, Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, and Wrestling). In grappling, often it is the action of creating a defensive response that allows you to chain together more aggressive offensive attacks. We see similar psychology displayed in other sports as well, or any competitive environment for that matter. In fact, it’s part of the game! We want to win, or at least I do, and I hope you do too. The problem with this behavior in customer relations is that they’re not your competitor. They’re your customer. Sounds simple enough, but if we’re honest with ourselves we can probably all recall at least one occurrence in our career (and for some, perhaps more) where we lost sight of this and pushed back on a customer because we didn’t want to be wrong. In fact, maybe we even knew we were right, and we wanted to make sure they knew it too! It is so important to not fall into the alluring trap of proving we are right. We must first seek to understand. In order to do this when the temptation to push back is present, you must detach from your feelings for a moment and hold tight to wisdom so you can guide yourself and your customer to a positive outcome.
Never Make Excuses
This seems simple enough. Take a moment though and reflect on your past interactions with a difficult customer situation. Maybe you’re involved in one right now while you’re reading this. Have you ever tried to explain away even just a tiny shred of personal responsibility? If so, you messed up. In all fairness, you messed up twice – first with whatever occurred to create the difficult situation and then by following it up with an excuse. Excuses are an ugly barrier between problem and solution, between lesson needed and lesson learned. But “where there’s a will, there’s a way” and if we don’t want to take ownership, we will find some way to justify any excuse we can conjure up. John Wooden once famously said, “It’s amazing how much can be accomplished if no one cares who gets the credit.” This is aimed at addressing our desire to take personal credit for successful outcomes. The same sentiment however can be applied conversely to negative outcomes, the dreaded customer complaint. Whether taking credit or shifting blame, both evoke a sense of selfishness.
Applying the Rules
In my experience, the best thing we can do is take ownership, and then dive headfirst into problem solving with these simple rules:
- Identify the underlying causes.
- Listen to the input of others.
- Find multiple solutions, vet them, and select the solution that works best.
- Develop a strategy for implementation.
- Measure your success.
- Document your success for future reference.
Every encounter with a customer is an opportunity to build loyalty. Customers are people. All people have a common need. We want to be understood and we want to know that we matter. You have the power to provide that.