In a recent article in MoneyWise, the top states for relocation to and from were listed and many of them were as expected: Arizona, Alabama, Texas, Florida, which are all warm states that draw northerners. BUT, some of the states were unexpected: Idaho, Rhode Island, Vermont, West Virginia, and South Dakota, which are not on most people’s got-to-live-there list.
The usual reasons, such as moving from a high tax state to a low or no income tax state, or moving from a high population area to a smaller town, are high on the list, as is moving to someplace warmer with beaches nearby. Even retirement was a driving force, again for taxes and weather. Still, some of the reasons resonated with me as I am hearing the same things from candidates and employers.
One of the reasons for relocation is driven by how people did during COVID, with lock downs, masks, sickness, and stress, especially if they had been living away from their family. One of the main reasons for relocating in 2021 was being closer to family and friends. I’ve seen it first hand: when Beth moved to Florida in 2015, she wanted to get away from the Indiana winters and her perfect place was Florida. She had vacationed here for years and felt it would be heaven, but over the years she has missed the friends and family she grew up with to the point that we are strongly considering moving back.
At The JobLine, candidates are telling me they moved to “Their Perfect Place” a few years ago when COVID and remote jobs allowed them to pick a dream location. Many have been there a year or more and say the same thing: they miss family and friends; they miss four seasons. The hardest part is when a spouse is in that perfect place with no friends, no family, and the feeling of being trapped in that perfect place hangs heavy. Small irritations become major obstacles to being happy. As one candidate put it, “My wife left her lifelong friends when we moved to Florida’s gulf coast and now she wants to go home. I love it here but I love her more, so find me something back home.”
Consider also that kids are especially vulnerable to landing in an unfamiliar place, with no friends and a lack of understanding of the local culture. They can find their way by joining sports and other organized activities, but the life and friends they left behind leave many depressed and unhappy. In some instances, the change of environments may have been the parents’ perfect place, but the kids hate it. As one remote designer told me, “My daughter hates it here and even ran away back home. She was a straight-A student back home, but now she is struggling with basic classes. I really messed up.” Having realized the move was a mistake, this designer wants to make things right for his family and move back home.
The problem facing remote workers who moved to their perfect place, only to find it wasn’t the dream they expected, is the cost of another relocation. Since they are primarily seeking remote jobs, the prospective employers typically are hesitant to extend $5,000–$10,000 to relocate someone who won’t be “in the office,” although some may provide assistance in the form of a loan. Begrudgingly, some of the candidates are giving up the remote job for an in-office position, just to get a relocation allowance. One candidate said that moving back to an office was his karma for disrupting his family’s stability.
I really get it, after attending two elementary, three junior high, and three high schools, because my family moved a lot. It was my dad’s job, always moving to start a new location, a new plant, or a new branch. He felt it was important to be on the ground, hands on. For me, it was something I learned to live with: move somewhere new, no friends, no activities, and basically be an introvert. If not for football and other sports, I would have been depressed. Moving from Portland, OR to Arlington, TX my sophomore year was a culture shock too. Besides the accents that were hard to understand at first, I was a West Coast boy and the majority of my new peers were good ole’ Texas folk. I was lost. My point is that relocation is a huge undertaking, especially if a family is involved. Besides the risk of a new job, you have a new location and maybe a different culture. Relocation will affect your family on a different level that it does you. While you are busy at work, focused on getting settled into a new job, your family is navigating a new life and may be struggling to adapt. Be sure that you consider all three key points that can trigger a failed relocation:
- Your fit for the job, and the job’s fit for you.
- Your family’s fit in new schools, church, and employment for your spouse and kids.
- As a family, the ability to embrace your new home and community together.
Failing in any of the three can cause your house of cards to fold. Do your homework, put feet on the ground, and know what it will be like in your new location. If you moved and made a mistake, own it and make it right for your family. But, if you landed in paradise for all,
Life is Good!